Hysterical Gas

By Atom Bergstrom

Atom’s Blog

Mabel (not her real name) told me her “stomach” (abdomen) expanded four inches a few minutes after eating a single mouthful of food.

I said (believing it at the time), “That’s physiologically impossible. Food takes at least an hour to exit your stomach, and it takes more than a mouthful to expand your stomach.”

Mabel said, “I’ll prove it to you. Feel my stomach before and after.”

I did, and her abdomen expanded like a balloon in less than five minutes.


I asked Adano Ley (Swami Nitty-Gritty) how it was possible, and he replied …

“Brother, it’s in her mouth.”


Richard Epps, M.D. (On Ovarian Dropsy and Ascites, 1875) wrote …

“A married lady was brought from the north of England to consult me in 1869. She was 36 years of age, and had been married some nine years. The monthly period had stopped about ten months. She had become gradually — so it was said — larger, and for several months was supposed by her medical attendant at York, as well as by her husband, to be pregnant. After the lapse of ten months she was supposed to be suffering from some uterine disease accompanying premature cessation of the menses. It was then that her husband determined to bring her to London, to have further advice.

“I saw her in the autumn of 1869. I can only speak generally of her state at that time, as I was not allowed to make a proper examination. I learnt that she was very weak and hysterical, and could endure but little exertion or standing. The enlargement was local, not extending much above the navel. There was no fluctuation.

“She was under my care for quite two years. It was not, however, until nearly two years from the time of the first consultation that I learnt the true facts of the case, and what was the cause of her condition. It turned out that her husband suffered from congenital phymosis [“rubber band” foreskin], which entirely prevented fruitful congress. I proposed to circumcise him, but he would not submit to the operation. Three or four months later, he wrote to me to state that, since seeing me, he had refrained from exercising altogether his marital rights, and that he was rejoiced to say his wife had entirely regained her health, as before marriage; that all the hysterical symptoms had departed, and that the abdominal enlargement had quite disappeared.”


Today’s Medical Police State would diagnose this woman’s condition as “hysterical abdominal bloating not due to gas.”

If it’s NOT gas, what is it, you dimwits? Ectoplasm?

What sci-fi channel are you assassins in white listening to on your stethoscopes?


'Hysterical Gas' have 5 comments

  1. July 9, 2023 @ 10:11 pm Atom

    Allopathy is DETOXING (heroic medicine). Many holistic practitioners still fall for this archaic perversion,

    Today’s Medical Police State exterminates far more people with their so-called “palliative medicine” (“coordinated continuity of care across various healthcare settings, including hospital, home, and hospice”).

    The 21st Century’s Medical Nemesis has brought about the all-powerful Nanny State and the mechanization of human life, degrading us all into player pianos played by the penises of predatory “health authorities.”


  2. July 9, 2023 @ 10:12 pm Atom

    Q — Who cooks with aluminum foil? Did you know that it leaches aluminum into your food?

    A — I’m more wary of mineral supplementation than I am of aluminum.

    I don’t wrap food in aluminum foil because it steams food instead of pyro-dextrinizing it.

    In a perfect world, I’d set the oven at 200° Fahrenheit to create protein coagulation.


  3. July 9, 2023 @ 10:12 pm Atom

    Remember the words of the Shivapuri Baba (who lived to 137 and started smoking tobacco at 130) …

    “Relatively speaking, everybody is right. Absolutely speaking, everybody is wrong.”

    The Shivapuri Baba was Queen Victoria’s guru, gifted Marie Curie the word “atomic,” and proved to Einstein that 1 plus 1 does not equal 2.

    He was a traveling man — it took him 25 years to walk around the entire world.


  4. July 9, 2023 @ 10:14 pm Atom

    Renu Lal Singh (Right Life: Teachings of the Shivapuri Baba, 1975, 1984) wrote …

    “Albert Einstein saw him in Switzerland while he was a young student of mathematics. Shri Shivapuri Baba challenged the proposition 1 + 1 = 2. Einstein at once became contemplative but could not follow him. So far as I remember and understand, Shri Shivapuri Baba told Einstein, ‘Absolutely speaking, only God exists, so the question of adding one thing to another cannot be entertained. Relatively speaking, no two things or beings are exactly alike. So, to say 1 + 1 = 2 is convenient but not correct.’”


  5. July 9, 2023 @ 10:15 pm Atom

    “All other animals have sense. Man alone has commonsense. Animals live by instinct. Some men like Einstein live by intelligence. Only supermen live by commonsense. Einstein’s intelligence produced the formula for the atom bomb. But if he had had commonsense, he would have kept it to himself alone.” — Shri Shivapuri Baba, quoted by Renu Lal Singh in Right Life: Teachings of the Shivapuri Baba, 1975, 1984


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